On almost every single call I hope the prospect doesn't know that -

True story. 

SEE?!?

FACT: Jake looks good with any 80's haircut

HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY NOODLE

halfway through laser show

final four

Trying to stay upbeat with no Friday hours:

... when someone avoids all my attempts to contact them (including but not limited to voicemails, emails, candygrams, etc), goes behind my back, and requests a demo straight from my client ...

So many birthdays coming up!

I fucking love birthdays.

if my brain could talk right now

Trying to talk to anyone on Laser Show Day:

Womp

It was only a matter of time until one of us posted this right?

womp.

Trying to explain my "hypotheticals" to the new hire:

I'm at a creepiness level 8 right now

Super excited to hang out Anthony!

national grumplestiltskin day.

The new website...

"Market Intelligence"

Movie Night?

... :) !

what i would be doing if i wasn't at work

Caleb's plans for the weekend

Watching Caleb do so much better than me at booking qualified demos

Every time the bell rings I'm just like - 

I googled "unhappy clapping"

When I make awkward eye contact with Liz over my computer

I play it cool like

Heeyyyyyyy

When someone gets excited about their innovation day idea, I wanna be like:

The sequel to "The Birds"

Every morning:

When the operator keeps transferring me to the wrong extension

yup.

Its Friday BITCHES

When the cherub said he liked my song choice this morning ...

... this was my level of excitement.

I'm in, bitches.