I don't TGIF

I'm not glad it's Friday this week, because this is just one day closer to when I have to return to the office.  It's been a great week without you guys!

The Apocalypse?

That's what the ladies call it

How about we play the plane game

With razor blades.

The office survived 12-21-12?

I guess we can't always get what we want.

Hybrid Cars

I drove a Prius once...

...straight into a wall...

Happy Holidays!

I'm taking a week off for the holidays, and I am so excited to see all my family and friends!

To everyone in the office:

Was I naughty or nice this year?

1st) Santa Claus reports to me
2nd) He is not on my good list
3rd) Go to hell for using the word 'naughty'

Can I Call You Back?

If the person that just told me he'd call back in 2 seconds actually does, then maybe there really are unicorns in North Korea...

It's 5:29pm

I'm already out the door.  Bye, losers.

I'm gonna take a break to play darts

No, that wasn't an invitation.

Laser Show?

Oh, you got 3 leads, 25 QCs, and 4 Scheduled Calls?

 ... I beat you with my activities alone.

Oh, you're going to lunch?

Like I give a fuck, I've got snacks.  All-Stars don't leave their desks.

My Birthday?

None of your damned business...

...it was yesterday.

Get your own goldfish...

(end of message)